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Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash.
That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man,
but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast
- Unknown
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
- Anonymous
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
- Jeff Valdez
In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.
- English proverb
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
One cat just leads to another.
- Ernest Hemingway
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Joseph Wood Krutch
I have studied human philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
- Hippolyte Taine
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
- Albert Schweitzer
The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.
- Ernest Menaul
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
- Unknown
Time spent with cats is never wasted.
- Colette
You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.
- Colonial American proverb
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want
- Anon
SUNDAY SCHOOL LESSON FOR CATS - THE "KITTY KOMMANDMENTS":
**Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the internet.
**Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
**Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
**Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
**Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
**Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
**Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
**Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.
**Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
**Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
**Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
**Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
**Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM.
**Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
**Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
**Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
**Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that house plants are not meat.
**Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.
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